The Secret Sauce to Optimizing Your B2B Landing Page
A deep dive at a landing page that needs a shot of personality.
Hi, I’m Ben Watkins 👋 Thanks for joining another edition of La Vie Ben Rose. Every week, I unravel copywriting examples from the most recognized brands.
If you haven’t already, sign up for my upcoming workshop this Thursday at 1:00 pm EST for $197 or get my email, landing page, and writing workshop PDF bundle for $100.
P.S. My friend Stacy Eleczko is one of the best brand messaging strategists I know on planet Earth. She’s actually hosting a BootCamp all about it.
Here’s what she said about it:
“Could your brand messaging use a refresh? Join Stacy’s Brand Story Bootcamp to define your unique brand story, attract more qualified leads, and boost your sales. Looking for a quicker solution? Grab her guide to learn how to use language that connects with your dream clients.”
The Problem With B2B Landing Pages (Especially Healthcare)
B2B messaging is tricky.
B2B healthcare messaging is even trickier.
You have HIPPA, technical complexity, legal requirements, jargon language, long sales cycles, and a constant balance between writing an emotional and logical message.
As a healthcare copywriter, it’s my job to know all of that trickiness and smoothly glide through it.
Yet, for so many B2B healthcare companies, the messaging falls flat. There’s no smoothness. It feels fake and generic instead of empathetic and story-driven. If B2B healthcare companies want to stand out, they need to humanize their messaging.
This requires:
Identifying personas
Listening to customer data
Understanding the stage of awareness
Testing traffic sources during a short period of time
Let’s look at an example of a healthcare landing page.
We Need More Data-Driven Copy, Scotty!
If you’ve watched Star Trek, you understand that reference. If not, you owe me a coffee.
Back to the issue at hand. Let’s look at an example of Marani Health’s landing page, which is actually the website homepage.
What does redefined even mean? Sure, it’s different. But it’s so bland that even a cup of sugar couldn’t sweeten it up.
In case you can’t read it because it’s a bit small, here’s the text:
Headline: Pregnancy Care Redefined
Subheadline: Marani Health is an AI-powered maternal healthcare platform delivering individual insights through connected devices to improve patient outcomes and enhance clinical workflows.
CTA: Explore More
I believe it can be better. It will be better. And it shall be better.
Step 1. Gather Information
The first step was to gather as much information as possible about customer data.
Look at testimonials and customer data (hint: there was none)
Review Product Pages, About Pages, and existing content
Review personas and different audiences (employers, patients, providers, and health plans)
Review pitch deck
Competitor analysis
Review M•care product specifications and benefits
The most helpful part was looking at the pitch deck for further information that wasn’t found on the website. It’s the starting point from which everything abounds.
Step 2. Extracting Gold From the Pitch Deck
Pitch decks have to be precise. They need to be hyper-specific because everything flows from the pitch deck, at least originally.
I worked with Tomorrow Health this year on its pitch deck, and it required constant collaboration and talking to their team about their features.
With Marani, we can gather these insights from its pitch deck:
Revolutionary technology built around AI-driven software (feature)
Removes barriers like only getting access to care at the hospital
Benefits included delivering confidence to parents and providers having better access to healthcare
Step 3. Give Yourself Options
Let’s rewrite the headline based on what we know from the pitch deck, using these keywords (care, pregnancy, prenatal care, remote care, healthcare), and then use the framework AIDA - Attention, Interest, Desire, and Action.
Here’s what I came up with:
Instant Prenatal Care Wherever You Are. Exceeding Patient and Provider Outcomes
The 9-Month Labor of Love Without All the Labor
Delivering Better PreNatal Care: One Mom at a Time
It’s Like Having Your OB With You Literally Everywhere
Taking Peace of Mind Pregnancy to Mean Peace of Mind
Taking the Hospital to Your Home to Improve Every Pregnancy Journey
Pregnancy Care at Your Fingertips
We Took the Waiting Out of Prenatal Care
Pregnancy Care That’s as Fast as the Internet. And as Virtual and Reliable
Imagine Pregnancy Care Without Ever Waiting to Get Your Questions Answered
Replacing 20-Minute Waiting Rooms With Instant Virtual Pregnancy Care
Ask Your OB Doctor Anything. From Anywhere. Anytime.
These headlines were from idioms and common phrases, tying together benefits and features and putting together keywords. While they are a draft, they helped me figure out some new ideas.
Step 4. Rewriting the Subheadline
Now that I have a draft of headlines, I can start working with something that looks better than the original.
Let’s work on the subheadline:
Original Subheadline: Marani Health is an AI-powered maternal healthcare platform delivering individual insights through connected devices to improve patient outcomes and enhance clinical workflows.
New Subheadline: Marani Health empowers expectant mothers with instant care and insight from anywhere with an AI-powered maternal healthcare platform. With Marani’s connected devices, providers improve clinical outcomes and an expectant mother’s peace of mind.
Step. 5 What I Do With More Information
Granted, this is a draft, but I wanted to show my process for writing something that takes hours to craft.
It’s far from perfect, but it’s getting me somewhere, especially for a company that doesn’t have a lot of information. If I had more information, I’d also include this research:
Interview sales teams
Interview founder and marketing team
Listen to sales recordings
Gather information around best-performing content
Look at Google Analytics to evaluate anything that’s trending
See if there’s a heat map on the website
Use Lyssna for user testing.
Conclusion: The (Almost) Final Product
While I can’t make the perfect headline and subheadline, here’s an image of the before and after of my process.
It’s a draft and an improvement.
When you're ready, here are a few ways I can help you 👇
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Thanks for reading!
Ben Watkins